so my surprise trip with my babyboy was the shore. i loved it. it was a beautiful weekend and really nice that we had his grandparents shorehouse all to ourselves. shhh ;) hehe. i wanted to go to outfest with one of my gay friends but i didnt make it in time, which really really sucked cuz i really really wanted to go.

something joe, my boyfriend said to me down the shore was that periods are gross and he doesnt understand why we get them.  well uhhh we get them so we can make babies. i was kinda getting mad cuz he kept saying how gross and disgusting and nasty they are. so i asked him why he had sex with me before (i think at least 2 or 3 times) when i was on my period. he said becuz he had a condom.  wtf well i guess its ok if ur getting laid he dont care now does he. i started thinking about how in my book the main character had to stay in an outhouse for 3 days because she was considered unclean on her period and her touch was considered to be poisoned and how it was wrong for her to be anyone's presence. why is it so wrong to have a period!?  i mean hey if u dont want us to have a period then good luck finding someone to carry and nurture ur babies. its not gross.  its a totally natural thing that enables the beautiful phenomenon called pregnancy to exist. i wanted to be really angry with my boyfriend but i couldnt be. i mean, if i was a guy i might feel the same way about periods. theyre messy and smelly and can be annoying. but you have to see them in a different light. just as u should with everything else in life. it makes me kinda sad tho that my boyfriend finds me disgusting in some way, even if its not rly my fault.  i dont want to be seen as disgusting in any way, becuz i used to feel like i was when i had my eating disorder. i want my period to be seen as something fantastic.

i remember the first time i listened to "blood in the boardroom" by ani difranco. i was baffled as to why a woman would want to write and sing about her period. ive been an ani fan since i was 14 (ill be 19 next week) and now that im a little older and more mature i get it now. i think also becuz im a lot more of a feminist and ive come to realize my standings as a woman. anyway, if i ever pick up my guitar again and start singing this is something id definately learn to play for people. theres a part of me that loves just freaking people out  i cant help it. its too much fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-1sm3iGBsw i highly recommend reading the comments too. lol theyre pretty interesting to read.

xoxo

p.s. i need to stop blogging about sex, my boyfriend, and my ex-eating disorder.

i just had such a great meal :) i havent had fish and rice in forever and my salad was super great. i really need to start working out tho. right now im going to assume im around 120, which is about 10 pounds lighter than i was this time last year. i was so happy when i put on my fave pair of jeans this morning and they fit me better than they did when i first bought them like 2 years ago. if they didnt fit i wouldve felt like shit and my whole day wouldve been ruined :/ damn i hate focusing on my body. i love how even when i was 10 pounds heavier people thik im 115 lbs. even my bf. it sucks cuz im rly not, but the fact that i look tinier than i rly am makes me feel special.

im wearing my boyfriends shirt and it smells so amazing <3 tomorrow hes taking me on a long drive to God knows where and i cant wait :) i also have on my new leather chuck taylors and i never take off the necklace joe gave me.

isnt it beautiful :) i love it so much.

i cant wait for our concert either. for my birthday, which is a week from today, he got me ani difranco tickets. i am soooooo excited. i love her so much shes my favorite singer. i feel like im just rambling now but im in such a good mood today and i want it to last and enjoy every moment of it cuz i never really feel good anymore. i cant even stand looking at my face in the mirror half the time.

ya know i had so much i was gonna write here today, but i forgot most of it lol. oh well.

yours truly ♥ dana